So I haven't posted in a while. There really wasn't much to write about. I know, my life's sad as fuck.
I just realised that no matter how much you love someone, or rather loved someone before, it makes absolutely no difference when you've moved on with your life. I meant, love someone as a friend loves a friend, rather than being in love with someone.
It's weird how the very things that at one point seemed to be the reason for an amazing friendship, seem to be exactly why a future relationship with that person may never work out. In the past few years I've realised that you outgrow people, even the ones you love. They may always hold a special place in your heart, but that is about it.
Which brings me to the question: Exactly how many people outgrew me?
It doesn't seem to bother me, I guess because now I understand that some people just aren't good for you, and that you HAVE to put yourself first.
The thing is I've become so accustomed to being able to judge who would be a good influence in my life, and most of the times I'm right, that every so often I want to be proved wrong. I want people to astonish me and make me realise that they are more, more than what I estimated them to be. Just like I wanted him to prove me wrong. I wanted him to bet on himself for once. Truth be said, I was almost sad as to what could have been, or rather what could be.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just too scared of falling off of the edge. I think my problem is that I know exactly for what I'd be willing to risk everything, and sometimes I just push people away, or rather do not even end up giving them a chance, because I know beforehand that they just don't possess what I need, or rather desire from them. At first I just accepted it as a part of growing up, but to be honest I don't want to grow up. Sometimes I still want to be that 13 year old girl, who loved going to school because everyday there was something new to gossip about.
I just realised that no matter how much you love someone, or rather loved someone before, it makes absolutely no difference when you've moved on with your life. I meant, love someone as a friend loves a friend, rather than being in love with someone.
It's weird how the very things that at one point seemed to be the reason for an amazing friendship, seem to be exactly why a future relationship with that person may never work out. In the past few years I've realised that you outgrow people, even the ones you love. They may always hold a special place in your heart, but that is about it.
Which brings me to the question: Exactly how many people outgrew me?
It doesn't seem to bother me, I guess because now I understand that some people just aren't good for you, and that you HAVE to put yourself first.
The thing is I've become so accustomed to being able to judge who would be a good influence in my life, and most of the times I'm right, that every so often I want to be proved wrong. I want people to astonish me and make me realise that they are more, more than what I estimated them to be. Just like I wanted him to prove me wrong. I wanted him to bet on himself for once. Truth be said, I was almost sad as to what could have been, or rather what could be.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just too scared of falling off of the edge. I think my problem is that I know exactly for what I'd be willing to risk everything, and sometimes I just push people away, or rather do not even end up giving them a chance, because I know beforehand that they just don't possess what I need, or rather desire from them. At first I just accepted it as a part of growing up, but to be honest I don't want to grow up. Sometimes I still want to be that 13 year old girl, who loved going to school because everyday there was something new to gossip about.
No comments:
Post a Comment