Okay, so I have this weird urge to write. Something, that I haven't experienced in quite a while. Just when I needed a computer, all of them were already occupied (P.S. I'm in school).
I realised, although I worked very hard to change myself and frankly went to hell and back, that now I'm just throwing that fact in peoples' face and that not everyone's felt that severe disappointment in themselves, that would motivate them to turn their life around. Most of my now closest friends don't even get what I'm talking about because they didn't know me back then.
The people, who do realise what I really mean are Gorad and all (actually only Gorad). Even she wasn't there when the actual transition first started.
The only person, who knows and understands what I mean, apart from me (and my family, maybe?), is A.
Yesterday it just hit me, when I was thinking about how D wasn't even there then, that A and I, we survived things that people only hope that they'd have someone there, supporting them when shit hits the fan. And I really mean it from a best friends point of view.
It makes me wonder for the first time ever, if I should try to somehow get in touch with him again. If what we had, was probably worth another try to get my former best friend back?
We'd never again be what we used to be, but you know what, that's okay. Maybe it IS okay that things won't be the same.
For some reason I no longer want the same kind off friendship/relationship with him anymore.
I realised, although I worked very hard to change myself and frankly went to hell and back, that now I'm just throwing that fact in peoples' face and that not everyone's felt that severe disappointment in themselves, that would motivate them to turn their life around. Most of my now closest friends don't even get what I'm talking about because they didn't know me back then.
The people, who do realise what I really mean are Gorad and all (actually only Gorad). Even she wasn't there when the actual transition first started.
The only person, who knows and understands what I mean, apart from me (and my family, maybe?), is A.
Yesterday it just hit me, when I was thinking about how D wasn't even there then, that A and I, we survived things that people only hope that they'd have someone there, supporting them when shit hits the fan. And I really mean it from a best friends point of view.
It makes me wonder for the first time ever, if I should try to somehow get in touch with him again. If what we had, was probably worth another try to get my former best friend back?
We'd never again be what we used to be, but you know what, that's okay. Maybe it IS okay that things won't be the same.
For some reason I no longer want the same kind off friendship/relationship with him anymore.
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