Sipping Coffee Outside Harrods.

Lustenau, Austria, 2016.

What is that one thing that makes you the happiest? It doesn't just make you feel happy, but it makes you the best version of yourself. 
Do you have something in mind?
Good. Now ask yourself if you do it enough; allow yourself to be your happiest enough?

  For me this thing is travelling. It has been a hot minute since I have been someplace new. In these last few weeks I found myself craving bad habits again. I saw myself spiralling downward. I have diligently been allocating time to a lot of my passions, except travelling. What with the moving I haven't had an extra penny in a while now. But come December I am going to be back on track.
  I have quite a few places I want to visit in the coming months. February will find me in France. Spring, hopefully, in Netherlands. 
  Being in a new city makes me feel like I am on the top of the world...like I can fly. It shows me why things did not work out. It alleviates my sorrows, and makes me aspire for more. It teaches me that anything is possible. Especially things that we couldn't have conjured in our wildest dreams.

  

Lustenau, Austria, 2016.

  Growing up patience never was my finest virtue, so it has taken a while for me to understand that everything that needs to happen will happen at its own pace. There is no need to rush things. 
This is something I have to constantly remind myself of. One should always remember this while travelling. I grew up going through family vacations, where we were always racing against time, trying to check everything off our check lists.
Although there was this one I time I remember during our time in London. It was the last night, and we were sitting outside a Café, drinking coffee after dinner, across Harrods. I remember talking to my parents, whilst my brother slept in his pram, and thinking that Harrods looked so pretty at night, all lit up. 
  
  I wonder if the eight year old me - sitting outside Harrods with her parents, excited to have had a sip of her parents coffee - would have known that travelling would become such an essential part of my life. 

Weingarten Abbey.

  As most of you all must already know, I have not written much this past month. I could give excuses, but the fact is that I have been giving my undivided attention to a matter that is very important to me. I hope to show you what it is, but all in due time.

  The moving process is arduous, especially if you are doing it alone. It has not given me much time or  money that is required to travel as much as I would like. The good news is that it should be over soon. So, that is something to look forward to.
  Yesterday I went to Ravensburg; it is this small town in Germany. The Martini Market is taking place this weekend, and I was lucky enough to have visited it. Weirdly enough, it was a different experience. Most of the times when there is a market in Austria it is always loud with people holding glasses of beer and eating scrumptious food. The atmosphere is giddy. But yesterday I noticed as we stopped by a stand selling mouthwatering Churros that it was quiet. Too quiet, if you ask me.
You could not listen to tidbits of other peoples conversations. There was absolutely nothing.

  The town in itself was not particularly interesting, but there was this monastery near it that was absolutely breathtaking. The Weingarten Abbey or St. Martin's Abbey towered over most buildings. It was simply a piece of art that one might expect in Italy. I certainly did not expect to find this jewel in Germany. It was founded in 1056 by Welf I on the Martinsberg. Rather than going on about the history let me tell you what I found inside the Basilika.

  The interior was just as beautiful as the exterior. It was dominated by white, a colour that I have not seen used to this extent in most religious structures. The high-set windows were frames of a painting - the beautiful blue sky, waiting outside.

  For the first time I was on the higher level of a church, where the enormous organs - the instruments - are. The surprising or the not so surprising this is that the elevated level ran circular around the entire church. It was weird being up there looking down, rather than looking up from down there.

  Upon exiting the Basilika you are welcomed by the sight of the entire town below you with mountains being its backdrop. Honestly, it is quiet a sight. Its one of those places that makes you want to sit on a bench with one of your favourite books and cup of coffee to just be...not talk...not work...but rather to just be there and marvel at the sight before you and at the sight that stands majestically behind you. 

Once A City Girl, Always A City Girl.

  Vienna, you beauty!
  Every time that I have been in this city, I have left a little more beguiled and enamoured than the last time. The weird thing is that I absolutely loathed the city by the end of my first trip there. I think, it is one of those places that you just need some time to love.

  My first two times in this glorious city were overshadowed by the throngs of tourists that were there everyday but this time..this time was different. The starting of October, when Autumn has just arrived here in Vienna, most days it is not as cold as it is Voralberg right now, with hardly any tourists around clicking pictures, the city is calm. As calm as a major metropolitan can be.

  This time I stayed at Hotel Kummer that is directly outside the Neubaugasse UntergrundBahn station at Mariahilferstraße (one of the two major shopping streets). It was different living in the heart of so much activity. My one tip for enjoying Vienna is to forget the Museums. Honestly, they will just overwhelm you. FORGET THEM! The Indian in me is screaming, "What? How can you visit a place like Vienna and not visit the Museums?" but believe me, this time around trying doing it like the Europeans - stroll around the city early in the morning with a croissant and coffee in your hands, and late at night after you have stuffed your belly with good food. Appreciate the architecture and the history behind this city of 1.8 million people.

  The one way to know the way you feel about a place is to see it at night, and by questioning yourself if you like what you see around you. A true city should be able to hold its own under the dark skies. And Vienna does - the city is bathed by the glow of twinkling lights of the never ending restaurants, shops and buildings, with people loitering around, friends on their way somewhere; probably home or to some bar.

  The difference between a small town and a city for me lies in the fact that no matter how much I like living in a small town, I know that it is something fleeting. I do not envision my life over there. Whereas I can visualise myself living a full life in a metropolitan like Vienna or Paris. I see a future.
I guess, once a city girl, always a city girl?

This New Place

As much as I love moving around constantly I have to admit that moving to a foreign place is unnerving.  I moved recently, again. It is not an unchartered territory for me; I have come here pretty often in the past year. But at the end of the day the truth is although not unchartered, this city is foreign. I have no friends, no routine, no favourite places here. So, this is me giving a few helpful tips to all those who find themselves in my position.

1) DISCOVER: Discover the city. You might be thinking DUH!, but let me tell you, it is easier said than done. Especially, when you can go back home and are holed up in your bed with Netflix and a pizza. Find new cafes, restaurants, gardens, running tracks and who knows what, because you need to get to know your new home. Go walk random streets until your feet are sore, and begging you to stop.

2) ROUTINE: We humans are creatures of habit, and as loathe as I am to say this, we do need structure in our lives to prosper. So go ahead and build a new routine; have Pizza Fridays or go buy breakfast from the same bakery every morning.

3) ACCEPTANCE: Accept that it is inevitable that you sometimes feel lonely and homesick, and that it is okay because it is a part of this new chapter of your life.

4) RESEARCH: Yes, research. Google if there are places near you that irk your interest, or day trips worth taking on the weekends. This will make all the difference. 

5) TOURIST: Be a tourist. This is the best time to do all the touristy things possible; you have just moved here and nobody knows you, hence there is no way that you will bang into an acquaintance when you are doing something stupid. Go take stupid selfies in front of the town's main attractions and be stupid.

6) FAVOURITES: Find your favourite coffee shop, your favourite place to sit at when you need a safe haven. This step is inevitable and crucial at the same time. It can be compared to a brand new house that you have just bought, bare of all your belonging. Then, you start unpacking and shuffling things around - a few photo frames here and there, your favourite souvenir on your bed-stand- and suddenly that house you just bought transforms into your home. Just like that, this city that you moved to becomes your city.

7) FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR CITY: This is, by far, the most important thing that helps you feel at home. You have to go out of your way and fall irrevocably in love with your city. Notice the random things that make it a great city to live in, your favourite season over there, your favourite things about it. 

Hopefully, by the time you are done using some of these tips, you will be feeling more at home than when you started. 

You May Have The Universe, If I May Have Italy.

Leaning Tower of Pisa, Italy, 2016.

Okay, so my undying love for Italy is no secret, and in the past one year I have been fortunate enough to travel Italy in a little more detail. The result was me being awestruck, spell bound and baffled all at the same time. This little country has so much to offer; from ornate Cathedrals and Palaces to mesmerising beaches.

Every new city or town that I tackled left me feeling as if I were in some other place all together, rather than in the same country. No matter where I went in Italy, it always left me craving for more. Milan let me have a sneak peak at the city life, where people are out at all kinds of ungodly hours of the day. Cinque Terre reminded me that as beautiful and relaxing as the ocean can be, it can be equally destructive if you by chance find yourself near one at the wrong time.
Much like people; our tongues hold the power to alleviate pain and suffering by whispering words of kindness, but the same tongues can be wielded as weapons if not used with care. The same goes for most parts of our bodies, hands that heal can also be hands that stab, legs that carry someone else's burden can be legs that kick.
In Como I gained a newfound appreciation for different cultures that seemed to be separated by what seemed only a few miles (Switzerland and Italy). The language being just the tip of the iceberg.

Verona, Italy, 2016.

Verona, with its never-ending cobbled streets, dotted with picturesque houses and dainty little shops, had the heart of a city while having the culture of a small town.

Lastly, comes Venice. Oh, Venice, you were the highlight of my past year. You made me believe in love at first sight. You evoke in me a sense of calm and belonging. Your unfaltering rows of bridges and small streets instilled in me an unsurmountable acceptance of my life's path. Your people reminded me that strangers, too, can be kind. Most of all you jogged my memory as to why I love travelling.
My time in Venice taught me how a place could turn me speechless, and at the same time still make me feel as if everything that had happened in my life, had been leading upto that moment in Piazza San Marco, where I sat after sundown with a glass of Spritz in hand, listening to the soulful melodies being belted out by the various live bands present over there. In that moment it did not matter that I was broke or that I had failed. All that mattered was that I had found my way to that moment. I had found what made me happy.

The Small Experiences.

Bellagio, Italy, 2016.

1) Sitting in Cafés with my journal to write in or a book to read.

2) Spring: Spring is my favourite time of the year. It is not too hot and not too cold, AND it smells like flowers everywhere you go.

3) Sitting under the sun and tanning in summer.

4) Taking long walks with a Gelato to accompany me.

5) Going for runs.

6) PIZZA!

7) Trying to find a quite place that serves good food and bomb coffee.

8) Taking pictures.

9) Doing or encountering something unexpected.

10) A good view.

11) Travelling.

12) Learning new languages.

13) Awe-inspiring architecture.

14) Catching up with good friends

These are the things that I love wholeheartedly, irrespective of where I am. Most of them are the vastly underestimated pleasures of life that one pay's no mind to. A year ago I, too, did not know that I could enjoy lying on a bench with my eyes closed, letting the sun's rays soak into my bones, holding no particular train of thought.
These are the things that I as a city bred individual missed out on. The one thing that my time in a small Austrian town has taught me is to take pleasure in doing the small things. You do not have to bend over backwards trying to chase after something more. Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting more. Hell, I am the poster girl for it, it is just that you should not loose sight of the bigger picture in your run for more, which we almost always do.

So just breathe and let go. Enjoy the moment you are present in.

It Was Love At First Sight.

St. Mark's Church, Venice, 2016.

It was love at first sight when I first saw Piazza San Marco on the Venice leg of my solo trip. I remember being so tired because I walked the entire way from the Santa Lucia Station, which is on one end of Venice, all the way to my apartment, which was near St. Mark's Square, on the other end of the island.
Lesson learned: Google Maps is not to be trusted when it comes to walking somewhere!
It straight up took me more than an hour to reach the hotel, where I was supposed to pick the keys to the apartment.
It was dusk when I got out of my apartment to go to the infamous St. Mark's Square. I did not expect anything much after the tiring day I had already had.
Believe me when I say this, the moment I got out of one of Venice's meandering streets and stepped into St. Mark's Square, I was spell-bound. It is one of those places that makes me realise why I love travelling so much. The Cathedral in itself is a sight for sore eyes, especially at dusk, when the sky is somewhere between a pink and a soft purple, which perfectly compliments the colours of the Cathedral.

By the time I finally managed to walk away from the Cathedral and take a right towards Palazzo Ducale the pink street lamps were turned on, throwing a warm pinkish glow over everything.
There are these two outdoor restaurants on that side, where a live band plays music every evening.
Now although eating at those restaurants is not something your girl could afford, I did the next best thing. I bought this amazing 2 euro chocolate gelato and sat on the steps nearby. Weirdly enough, eating this very same Gelato from the very same vendor and sitting on the very same steps is the only memory I have of visiting Venice with my family all those years ago.

If I thought that St. Mark's Square was breathtaking at dusk, I had a whole new thing coming for me, once the sun actually went down. The entire span of the Square was bathed by the soft glow of the street lamps, all the different live bands taking turns to play music in the background to soothe your soul and the laughter of the Gondoliers, who finally sit down to catch up after a day of work.

It was love at first sight for me.

Bridge of Sighs, Venice, Italy.

Croissants And Joggers.

As much as I love being back home with my family and friends, I miss living alone. I miss waking up on Saturdays with the realisation that I have no groceries and then dragging myself in my joggers to the grocery store to buy croissants. I miss my long tradition of picking up frozen pizza on my way back home on Fridays and then finally having time to myself with my pizza to catch up on my Netflix list. In the early days Kevin used to be a constant at my place on the weekends. I would fix us some dinner (pancakes!!) and then we would talk for hours until my eyes would start drooping.

In summer I would buy gelato from an ice-cream parlour near my flat, and take a long stroll around the town. I miss going out for runs out on the roads without having to listen incessant honking in the background. Every weekend I would contemplate on whether I could afford not going to the gym, and then almost always going.

There would be days, when I would make myself breakfast pancakes or waffles with some fresh berries, cream and coffee. Those days made me appreciate the luxury of living alone the most.
As sporadic as my travels are, my life always had a certain routine, which I liked. In the past few months I automatically started spending less, and thereby saving more for travelling. I found myself constantly looking up places to visit, or watching endless videos on how to save enough money for my trips.

One big change that I noticed taking place in the span of the last few months was that I started wanting to get rid of a lot of my belongings. I know, it does not sound like a big deal, but I had been a hoarder all my life. I wanted to save everything that had ever been a part of my life.
What I realised once I started travelling more is that I did not need so many tangible things to prove that something was a part of my life, all I needed were the intangible things.

Do not get me wrong, I still have a few things I would like to cherish. It's that I just do not have as many materialistic things that I hold precious anymore. Realising this has give me a certain kind of freedom. Freedom to believe in myself and the fact that the important things are not going anywhere.

So, as much as I love my old apartment, I am okay with the fact that it might actually be a while before I have an entire house to myself. It will happen, maybe, just not right now.

Let's Ski.

Brandnerthal, Voralberg, 2016.

I started skiing two years back at the ripe age of seventeen, whereas most people learn to ski as kids.

Let me tell you, it is better that way. At least then you do not remember the pain of constantly falling on your face. :P 

This post is about the things I learned in these two years that are VERY VERY important and should at no cost be ignored. Especially if you are a beginner.

1) NO COUNTING CALORIES: The first time I went skiing, I had absolutely no idea that I would be sweating bricks under my jacket within the first 15 minutes. So eat well. Stop counting the calories and eat all the carbs that you can because your body needs them to generate energy while you ski.

Alpenhotel Zimba, Brand.

2) DO NOT DRESS TO WARM: Also, one of my very first mistakes; I did not regard the fact that skiing too is a sport, which means that you will most probably sweat. Which you will! So don't just pile on layers of clothes because chances are that it will be extremely hot under all those clothes.

3) NEVER WEAR GLOVES MADE OF CLOTH: Always, and I mean ALWAYS, wear those water-proof, special kind-of gloves. I once lent my Dad my gloves and hence had to wear these other gloves which were, as you can guess, not water proof (snow proof?), and believe me you, I thought that I would probably have frost bite by the time we go home. 

4) CARRY A CHOCOLATE / ENERGY BAR: This tip will make all the difference in the world, when you are a few hours in and tired because you have been skiing the entire afternoon. I honestly needed an energy bar so badly last year, when I first learned skiing.

5) STAY HYDRATED: Sports 101- always stay hydrated. The same goes with skiing. The minute you get thirsty, it is over for you. You can take a small bottle of water with you and then keep filling it up, or you could just buy one while stretching your legs at the restaurant there. Most pistons in Europe have one as soon as you ride the very first ski lift up.

6) LEARN YOUR LIMITS: Don't be stupid and try to push through exhaustion like you would do at the gym. The ski piston is not a controlled environment. There is always a possibility that you could fall off the regular course and find yourself alone with a broken leg.

7) PARTNERS: Try skiing with people, who can ski well. You will learn so much just by looking at them. Plus, they will help you up when you fall, which if you are a beginner, you will!

8) ASK: Do not be afraid of asking for help. I have had so much help every time I have skied. I shit you not, once I had to even be helped by the Ski Patrol, since I was stuck and none of us could figure out how to get me down the hill without me falling every two metres.

9) HAVE FAITH: One of the first things that any tutor teaches you is that you have to let go of the fear and trust yourself. You need to have faith that when the time really comes, your body will know what to do.

10) THE VIEW: Don't forget to look around you when take ride that ski lift or when you are at the very top. Just look around you and take in everything that you see. This is not something that you see everyday in life.

This view is everything.

Sleepless Nights Spent Discovering Verona.

A little over a month ago, after months of overthinking, I undertook my first solo trip, my first stop being Verona.

Not many people know that the famous play, Romeo and Juliet, written by Shakespeare was based in Verona, Italy. Let me put it this way, after spending a little time in that magnificent city, I cannot even imagine that play being based anywhere else. Way to go, old man! 

My journey to Verona was one that was both: extremely long and exhausting. I took a train from Dornbirn, Austria to Lindau, which is at the Austrian tip of Germany. I, then, took another train to Munich Passing, from where I changed to a Schnell-Bahn that dropped me to the airport. 

I flew from Munich to Venice for 36 Euros, from where I then took a train to Verona, which in turn cost me another 10 Euros, and another two hours of my already short trip.

I reached the Porta Nuova train station in Verona around 4:30 pm. It took me another thirty minutes for me to walk to my Air B&B, which would have taken exactly three minutes by bus.

Once I reached my accommodation, I did all the necessary things- turn on the air conditioner, change out of my sweaty clothes and FaceTime my parents.

I finally got out of my room around 7 pm to head to the Verona Centrico, where all the action takes place.

Once there I made my way to Piazza della Erbe. I have to admit, a market in full swing is not what I expected to find over there. That evening I decided not to click pictures and to just enjoy my surroundings. Verona is what one expects Italy to stereotypically look like - cobbled streets filled with colourful old houses with beautiful flowers draping the balcony railings, outdoor restaurants and cafes filled with tourists and locals alike, cooling off after a hot and exhausting day with the Veronese drink- Spritz.

I then enjoyed some Bruschetta and a Spritz at a restaurant near Piazza della Erbe. I have to say that I find 12.50 Euros a little to much for an Appetiser and a drink that was practically a local drink.

They even charged me for the bread!!!! 

The bread!!

Your girl just had 80 Euros for the span of three days, including the transport charges.

So, yes, your girl was being extremely CHEAP. 

Hell, it took me months to save for this trip.

After dinner, I walked around a little more. It was finally getting dark. 

P.S. I love summer for the longer days.

Back to the point, I had promised my Dad to be home early, so around 9 I leisurely started making my way back to the bus stop from where I came.

*drumroll*

The last bus had left a few minutes before I reached.

It cannot happen. Right? Especially since my Google Maps showed me that there should be another bus leaving in 5 minutes time to take me back. So, naturally, I whip out my phone to recheck what I read, and *dum dum duuuummmm* it dawns on me that: one, in Europe the public transport timings change in the night, and two, the bus that is supposed to take me back to my B&B leaves from some other bus stop.

WHATTTT???

Google Maps says that the place is only a few minutes away but since I do not know the area and since it was already dark, I decided to go to the next big Piazza - Piazza Bra. It was the biggest and the most happening place in Verona, so it is just common sense that there should be a bus that will travel to my intended destination, right?

Nope. No such luck.

Now the problem with Piazza Bra is that there are quite a lot of shady people, who come out after sundown over there. By the time I reached the bus stop over there, you know, that I am already hyperventilating, but for my sake I put on a brave face and try to figure out a way back home.

The second problem with Piazza Bra is that along with the shady people, there are a LOT of tourists, who were just as clueless as me.

In the end I just ended up taking a bus to Porta Nuova, hoping that the last bus of the night had not yet left. 

At Porto Nuova, which was filled with even shadier people, I was at a loss as to whom I should ask about how I should make my way home.

I just asked the least shadiest person I could find, and as my luck would have it, he too had no answer to the question I held so dear to me, 'Which bus travelled to Santa Lucia?'.

So there I stood, hyperventilating, when the Gods, finally, felt sorry for me and sent a bus that stops at Santa Lucia. Thank fuck!

My Air B&B was not in the main city, meaning that it was somewhere pretty deserted. Now pair that with it almost being 10:30 pm with me, a girl, who does not speak the language and was so exhausted that she would not be able to throw a punch to save her life. 

To say that I was shitting myself the entire way; from the moment I got down at the bus stop to the time I reached my room would be an understatement.

Well, I reached the apartment without any instances occurring. Just when I start thanking my stars for letting me reach home safely, I realised that the main door of the apartment does not have a lock.

Why, God? WHYYY??

After a couple of minutes of cursing in the dark hallway, I make my peace with the situation and settled for just locking my bedroom door and praying that no one breaks in the wee hours.

Fast forward two hours later, just as I find my eyes drooping shut, I hear the main door being opened, and someone entering.

Although the rational part of my brain said that it was probably just another guest, renting the other available room in the apartment, it did not stop me from shutting my phone and hoping that the person assumes the apartment to be empty, just in case it really was a burglar. :P

I know, I know I should have listened to my parents when they told me that I was too young to watch all those horror movies. I guess, it is a little to late for that now. X_X

Me writing this blog proves that I made it through the night (Phew, right?).

All in all, that first night in Verona was definitely an experience that my parents shall never hear about.

Stay tuned for my next day in Verona. :D

Sleepless Nights Spent Discovering Milan.

Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, Milan, 2015.

Have you ever walked through a city after the sun has gone down, when most of the tourists are in some restaurant or bar, planning to retire for the night, when couples are going for a romantic walk, and for a while the hustle and bustle of the city seems to be at a bare minimum?

This photograph was clicked on the eve of the last day of the 2015 Milan Expo. I was fortunate enough to be able to accompany a family I know to Milan for the Expo. So we started our little journey from Au, Switzerland on a Friday evening, and were in Milan by 9 o'clock that night. After we left our luggage at the apartment that was ours for the night, the four of us headed to the main city, since we all were famished.

Let me just say, the food was amazing!!!!

Damn, Italy!

Your food is ON POINT!

According to Arno this could be modern art. You know what? I agree.

The things that people pass off in the name of modern art nowadays is ridiculous.

Anyways we all thought that it was hilarious, and for some reason it does look a little artsy. :P

After consuming a purely mind-blowing dinner and an even dreamier Tiramisu for dessert, we went out in the hopes of discovering Milan.

Do you know anyone, who is an ocean of knowledge? They know something about every monument, every place and every discovery. They basically know a little something about everything.

Well, that is Arno for you.

I do not remember any instance, when I might have asked him something or discussed something with him, about which he did not have any clue.

So, he pretty much took on the role of our tour guide, giving us bits of information about every major monument that came our way.

Milano Duomo

That was me holding onto Cäcilia so that she does not run away before we had clicked the perfect picture.

Around 1 am we finally accepted defeat, gave in to exhaustion and decided to head back to the apartment. So, naturally, we walk towards the entrance to the metro, and what do we find out?

That it is shut!!!!

At that point I had already started thanking my stars that I had decided to wear my Nikes instead of some cute sandals, which would have wreaked hell on my feet, had I had to walk home in them.

While I was doing that, the others had already decided to hail a cab.

Thank the Lord.

Here comes the problem.
*dum dum duummm*
No cab driver wanted to go where we needed to go (I swear to God, it was just like being rejected by a rickshaw-wala in India), I guess because it was on the outskirts of Milan.

After a while we did find a cab, that was driven by a person, who did not mind the driving to the outskirts of the town.

All in all, I think that it was a pretty eventful night.

Making A Bad Thing Work.

Mumbai, India, 2016.

This time last year I was desperate to be in a relationship, regardless if the person was right for me or not.

It was a long time before I asked myself the question: 'Why am I so afraid of being single?'

Ever since I was a child, I was taught that no matter how successful I was in life, it would amount to nothing if I had no one to share that success with. There is nothing wrong with it, but, what all these books and movies forget to mention is that it is okay if you do not share these things with a romantic partner..that these things can be shared with your family and friends.

Most of all that it is okay if you just have yourself to share this with.

All of us our hope to find a partner, who shall cure us of our insecurities and our loneliness but what we forget is that until we can provide ourselves with the love that we deserve, no one in the world can give it to us.

Too often I settled for less than I deserved, all because I was scared that maybe I was not everyone's cup of tea, or because I saw the people around me being in relationships that made them happy.

What my heart did not count was the fact that not everyone is going to be nice and take care of my heart. There will be people, who will be careless with my heart.

These are the kind of people who do not deserve my love.

I often held back because I did not want to hurt others by being too blunt, which often led me to finding myself in uncomfortable situations. It took me a while to learn that I should not have to put up with anything or anyone that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Sometimes the best thing that you can do is cut some people out of your life.

In these past few months I fell in love with being single and by myself.

I like taking long walks with a gelato in my hand or listening to songs, whose lyrics I do not understand.

I accepted that I am not everyone's cup of tea and that that is a good thing. 

I learned to not try and make a bad thing work.

I also learned to accept that eventually I will meet someone, who is not everyone's cup of tea, but, who compliments me perfectly. 

Travelling Solo

15.07.2016 Venice, Italy

17 things I learned while travelling solo.

1) Trust yourself. You are the only one who can get yourself out of a jiffy right now.

2) Learn to sit at a Café alone and enjoy it. Take a book if it is dinner time. It will help you not feel so out of place.

3) Learn to let go and do what you want to do. You are alone amidst a sea of people, whom you shall never meet again. What is holding you back? Do what you feel like. Who cares what they think?

4) Take time to discover where you are. I do not just mean the tourist attractions, I mean the places where the locals go. Try to get a peek at the local life here. Roam random streets. Discover antique book stores that you have only read about in books but have never really seen. Visit coffeeshops that the locals frequent.

5) Try the local food.

6) Make sure you know how to get back to your accommodation late at night. Look up the public transport timetables beforehand. Find out if the trains, buses, etc. work according to the same timetables at night.

7) Dress sensibly. Try not wearing sandals that will make your feet hurt after walking for 30 minutes. Put some goddamned sneakers on.

8) Walk around with your headphones playing some local music. When I was in Verona, I did not speak the language, I was tired and I did not have a lot of time in that city. For some reason I just felt as if I was missing out on something. I then decided to google top 10 Italian love songs and play them. Voila! I finally understood why Verona was also known as the city of love. It is often hard to see why a place is considered amazing with throngs of tourists around one. So put on those headphones and be ready to be transported somewhere else.

9) Do not trust anyone and everyone. I know it sounds mundane. I mean how many times have we heard our parents tell us this very exact thing, but it is easier said than done. Gauge a person before asking them for help. Not everyone is a nice person trying to make sure that you reach your destination safely. Ask families. This applies especially at night when you are asking someone the best way to get to your accommodation because the chances are that the person might remember the address.

10) See the city at two times: one, early in the morning when all the tourists are sleeping in their hotel rooms, two, at night when the street lamps finally come to life and the entire city is lit up.

11) Strike a conversation with a few locals and try to see their perspective on their city.

12) Accept that you will not be able to check everything off of your To See List, and be content with what you have seen.

13) Take a few moments to think about what this trip taught you or made you feel.

14) Try to take back with you not a load of souvenirs but rather memories and experiences that will last you a lifetime.

15) Find your favourite place in that city. The one place that calls to you and makes you feel calm.

16) Imagine how it would feel like to live there.

17) Accept that you will not fall in love with every place that you visit and that it is okay.

Honesty.

05.07.2016 Parliament Building,Vienna

Do you know that feeling when something feels right?

You just know that no matter what happens this thing will happen..that you will find your way to that thing. It is unavoidable. There is no rush in the world because at the end of the day you know..you know that it going to happen, or rather that you will make it happen. 

There is no doubt in your mind as to how and when. It will happen, when it needs to. You might not be ready for, it might not be what you imagined it might be, but in the end it will end being much more than you could have ever hoped for. 

And that emotion that will overcome you when it is actually happening is something that no amount of money, power or success could ever buy.

A few months back as I was alone in the washroom in school, I remember the regret making it’s way into my head. A part of me knew that what I had right now is more than anything I could have had at any Ivy League, had I gotten in. At that point although I knew that, the desolateness creeped in for a few days. Now I realise that sometimes you really should listen to that rational voice inside your head. 

Over the course of the past few months quite a few friends of mine told me that I wasted my two years coming here. The problem is that in these two years I learned more than I could have hoped to learn in ten years time, had I not come here. To normal logic it makes no sense but I have realised that most people just need someone else to put things in perspective in them. Sure, there were times when I hated every minute of it but it never occurred to me in these times to imagine a life where I had not chose to make this crazy life changing decision to come here for something I did not even understand well. These things really show one if they made the right choice.

When people think of going abroad or living alone, the first thought that comes to mind was party. I was trying to run after this stereotype for a long time, wondering why I was not doing what I “supposed” to be doing.

Somewhere along the way I let go of this need to do what I “thought” I wanted to do, and then something absolutely amazing happened. I started doing things that I actually LOVED doing- travelling, writing, etc. I found people that loved doing that. I still have friends who do not understand why I would save up so much money just to spend it on a day outing somewhere, but that no longer stops me or makes me feel self-conscious about pursuing my passions and interests. After a while even the people who did not understand starting accepting it.

At the end of the day being able to be honest with yourself is all that matters.

At The End

HTL Dornbirn

As I sit for the last time as a student by the lockers, a lot of memories come rushing back to me. Memories of all the people I met, the late evenings spent studying here, the songs sung in these very corridors, tears that have been shed after a tough day, when I felt as if everything around me was crumbling, and the joy felt after I aced a test.

There were times when I thought that if I left, there was not anything or anyone that I would leave behind, whom I would miss. Oh, how wrong I was. There are so many people here, who showed me love and kindness. They helped me even when they did not have to. The past few weeks have made me realise that there are so many people and things that I will miss about my time here.

Firstly, I will absolutely miss meeting Selinay in the bathroom every once in a fortnight, when I have come to school early enough to be able to put some make up on. Secondly, the people in my class, whom I swore a few months back that there would be nothing to miss about them. The fact is although most of us are not the best of friends, there will always be things that will remind us of each other. Then come the second years who always managed to make me life with their silly arguments and their not so perfect english, especially on Fridays, when I would spend a little extra time in the Werkstätte.  I will miss Lucas, who always cleaned up the mess I made while punching, even when he did not have to. He taught a very significant amount of things in my one and a half years of having knowing him. Mostafa had a warped assed sense of humour. One would have to know him to know why something so mundane could turn out to be so funny, when said by Mosti.

Now come the really important people. Lalita being the very first friend that I ever made here, is also the one, who got me hooked onto Inuyasha! We spent hours talking about conspiracy theories, boys and the universe. Seli, with whom I have gotten into countless arguments, who gets pissed off at me so often but still loves me. We have made our own traditions of going to eat Döner, which started my love affair with Falafel.

Lastly, I shall miss my soul brother, Kevin, whom I am already trying to convince to come with me next year to the Dominican Republic (falls du das liest, ,,bitte!''). He stayed with me through all my anxieties and my matchmaking skills of trying to set him up with someone I know. I love you so much soul mate. Always be your stupid self, who sings french/italian songs with me, when I decide to stay in class until 7 pm)

Not all bonds made here are going to be lifelong, nonetheless they are bonds at the end.

To Travel Is To Shut Up And Go

“Life is happening now. Yeah, time and money are huge setbacks, but when you’re 80 years old, what will matter most is the not the latest iPhone you bought, how much you’d stacked your résumé, or how many followers you had on Twitter, what will matter most is the $100 you spent on a trip to Montréal as a young’n and became best friends with the twerking hobo on the train. It’s time to shut up and go.” -Damon&Jo

Parma, 2016

For a while now I have been doing a lot of running away. I run away every chance I get. 

This feeling I have when I know that I am going somewhere else, some place safe, some place where nobody can find me, even if is only for a few hours is my addiction.

A lot of people do not understand the drive behind people like me. I mean what could be so great about constantly wanting to be somewhere else, right?

What can you get by going somewhere, where you neither know the language nor the culture?

The joy of finding a place for yourself anywhere and everywhere you go, finding new family and friends in a foreign country; who speak a different language than your own mother tongue but you still connect with them is insurmountable. 

I remember crying after I completed the German C1 Level. I thought to myself, everything that had to happen so that I finally took the decision of doing something that I had wanted to do ever since I was in my early teens. What I thought to be the worst thing that had ever happened in my life to end up being the very best thing that could have ever happened.

Do not get me wrong, it was tough and it hurt so much when I thought that I had become mediocre, hell, I thought, I was below average at that point, but now three years, one heartbreak, one foreign language and a whole lot of travelling and soul searching later I know that I am enough, I always have been- I just needed to realise it myself.

This is what travelling does- solo or in a group- it makes you rely on your skills to find your way and sometimes to get out of sticky situations.

It also enables you to open your mind to things that you previously did not feel comfortable around. It teaches you to trust yourself and your instincts above everything and everyone else. Travelling always teaches you to be frugal with your money. To travel means to be street-smart.

Those long train rides turn most of us either into readers or writers. Sometimes, both.

While travelling you meet hoards of people which often results in you reflecting on human psychology.

These experiences that we collect on the road are the ones that will never leave us. These are the riches that we will take with us to our graves, proof of lives fully lived. Our stories being a way to leave a minuscule imprint of our hearts in this great big world of ours.

There are things that will not always happen according to what was planned. There will be people you meet that will either make you want to strangle yourself or make you want to strangle them. Either way it will be a lose-lose situation.
But then there will be the people that will open up their arms and welcome you into their hearts. And believe me there will be a lot more of these people. People that will always have a place in your heart and mind, who will never be forgotten for the little things.
Travelling ignites our hearts and leaves us wanting more. 

Die besten zwei Jahre meines Lebens.

Despite the doubts I had before I moved here, to Austria, and despite all the hardships and the times, when I felt as if this was a waste of time, or that maybe, just maybe, I did not have any memories to last, once I left, these two years were the best years of my life.

The past few weeks made me appreciate all the things that I had learned, all the friends that I would miss, all the new experiences that I had collected. It made me form these bonds with people that I had never even have dreamed of meeting. I found a family away from my own family. I learned to ski. I learned to stick up for myself. I learned that if you want something, then there will always be a way for you to achieve it, if you put your mind to it. I learned to balance my heart and my brain. I learned to appreciate everything that I have. I learned that it is okay to do things alone. 

You just need to do your own thing and the right people will just come. I learned to be a better friend.

I learned that sometimes you have to cut the drama out of your life and that if someone is your friend then no matter what happens, they will be there beside you at the end of the day.

I also learned that sometimes I have to suck up my pride because I actually am wrong in that instance. I learned that you need to have fun, you need to do things that make you happy inside out.

I learned that everyone needs friends. They might annoy you, and that you might be poles apart but you both will always find some common ground that keeps you together. 

I learned to be grateful and to take chances. Then I learned that it is okay to say no, and that you do not have to take every risk that there is to take. Sometimes you are better off taking the safe bet.

I learned not to take myself so seriously all the time and that everyone has problems that they are going through in their lives, so to be careful of what I say and do. I learned not to be so scared of growing up and not having the time that I need to accomplish all the things that I want to accomplish.

I learned that sometimes it is okay not to speak up..sometimes you have to pick your fights. I learned to set goals. I learned dedication to achieve those goals. I also learned that it is okay to not be able to meet your goals sometimes. Sometimes it just is not going to happen and that is something that I am still learning to accept. 

I learned that the same goals can be achieved in several ways, all very diverse. The way that you had planned for you is not the only way to accomplish your dreams.

I learned self-reliance and confidence that no matter what get thrown my way, I will be able to handle it. I also learned to embrace my lazy nature, something that I was taught to hate.

I learned to not let my marks make or break so much of my self-worth. I learned that any one thing never ever matters enough for me to harm myself or my health for it.

The last two years have taught me that life is about the savouring the good moments and forging ahead through the bad ones.