Honesty.

05.07.2016 Parliament Building,Vienna

Do you know that feeling when something feels right?

You just know that no matter what happens this thing will happen..that you will find your way to that thing. It is unavoidable. There is no rush in the world because at the end of the day you know..you know that it going to happen, or rather that you will make it happen. 

There is no doubt in your mind as to how and when. It will happen, when it needs to. You might not be ready for, it might not be what you imagined it might be, but in the end it will end being much more than you could have ever hoped for. 

And that emotion that will overcome you when it is actually happening is something that no amount of money, power or success could ever buy.

A few months back as I was alone in the washroom in school, I remember the regret making it’s way into my head. A part of me knew that what I had right now is more than anything I could have had at any Ivy League, had I gotten in. At that point although I knew that, the desolateness creeped in for a few days. Now I realise that sometimes you really should listen to that rational voice inside your head. 

Over the course of the past few months quite a few friends of mine told me that I wasted my two years coming here. The problem is that in these two years I learned more than I could have hoped to learn in ten years time, had I not come here. To normal logic it makes no sense but I have realised that most people just need someone else to put things in perspective in them. Sure, there were times when I hated every minute of it but it never occurred to me in these times to imagine a life where I had not chose to make this crazy life changing decision to come here for something I did not even understand well. These things really show one if they made the right choice.

When people think of going abroad or living alone, the first thought that comes to mind was party. I was trying to run after this stereotype for a long time, wondering why I was not doing what I “supposed” to be doing.

Somewhere along the way I let go of this need to do what I “thought” I wanted to do, and then something absolutely amazing happened. I started doing things that I actually LOVED doing- travelling, writing, etc. I found people that loved doing that. I still have friends who do not understand why I would save up so much money just to spend it on a day outing somewhere, but that no longer stops me or makes me feel self-conscious about pursuing my passions and interests. After a while even the people who did not understand starting accepting it.

At the end of the day being able to be honest with yourself is all that matters.