Making A Bad Thing Work.

Mumbai, India, 2016.

This time last year I was desperate to be in a relationship, regardless if the person was right for me or not.

It was a long time before I asked myself the question: 'Why am I so afraid of being single?'

Ever since I was a child, I was taught that no matter how successful I was in life, it would amount to nothing if I had no one to share that success with. There is nothing wrong with it, but, what all these books and movies forget to mention is that it is okay if you do not share these things with a romantic partner..that these things can be shared with your family and friends.

Most of all that it is okay if you just have yourself to share this with.

All of us our hope to find a partner, who shall cure us of our insecurities and our loneliness but what we forget is that until we can provide ourselves with the love that we deserve, no one in the world can give it to us.

Too often I settled for less than I deserved, all because I was scared that maybe I was not everyone's cup of tea, or because I saw the people around me being in relationships that made them happy.

What my heart did not count was the fact that not everyone is going to be nice and take care of my heart. There will be people, who will be careless with my heart.

These are the kind of people who do not deserve my love.

I often held back because I did not want to hurt others by being too blunt, which often led me to finding myself in uncomfortable situations. It took me a while to learn that I should not have to put up with anything or anyone that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Sometimes the best thing that you can do is cut some people out of your life.

In these past few months I fell in love with being single and by myself.

I like taking long walks with a gelato in my hand or listening to songs, whose lyrics I do not understand.

I accepted that I am not everyone's cup of tea and that that is a good thing. 

I learned to not try and make a bad thing work.

I also learned to accept that eventually I will meet someone, who is not everyone's cup of tea, but, who compliments me perfectly.