A Balance.

I think, it is extremely rare to find your inner voice. It has always been there, inside us, the only difference now is, that you've finally let it be heard.

At first, I used to do everything practically, or at least try to, but soon I realised that, that particular approach wasn't exactly working for me. So then came the period in my life, where I did what "felt right", and in doing so, I never regretted anything. I did what I wanted to, because I wanted to do it.

I didn't indulge in any thoughts of whether it would be acceptable, is it normal, etc, etc.

You get the point.

Of late, I don't exactly know what I should be doing. I think, I'm trying to achieve something in between those two above mentioned stages: A balance.

For example: I don't know what I should do about the entire Matthew situation. The practical part of me knows I should let him be, but then yesterday, again, I was talking to these two people, who do not even know him, and somehow, already decided that he wasn't good enough for their best friend.

After everything, after me complaining about what a fucked up friend he was to me, I didn't hesitate for even a heartbeat before taking his side. Like what the fuck, of course he is good enough for their stupid best friend. He's more than good enough. This kind-off makes me wonder, what exactly am I doing, if I do not even have to think for a nanosecond, after all his crap, before saying with utter confidence, that, he is an amazing person.

I think my problem is, that because at one point he was so like me, and still reminds me of me, I just hold out hope, that he can change, if he just has someone there, who believes in him, like the way I changed. 

 (Because I love them to the moon and back.)