Work-In-Progress

Constance, Germany, 2017.

 
  I am currently reading "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck" by Mark Manson, and I have to give it up to the man. I was never one for all those books in the self-help section and even though he argues that this book isn't one of those books, let me inform you: this book totally belongs in that section. At first, when my Dad passed this book along to me, and by that I mean, I took from him because I knew there was no way he was going to finish this book by the end of his trip, I was, although entertained, a bit dubious. Then, as I delved deeper into the book, shit started making sense and I got on board: I started asking myself questions, I reminded myself that it is alright to not have satisfactory/acceptable answers to all those questions. 

  These past months have been difficult. I have to accept this fact. Whatever the reason, I haven't had an easy time coping. More times than I care to count I shut myself in this little bubble from the world. Though it saved me from a lot of immediate bad experiences, in the long run this approach did not make me any happier. I am still trying to find a balance between my private life and what the rest of the world gets to see. It hasn't been easy to establish but, I think, like most things in life, this is always going to be a work-in-progress for me. 

  This too is something that I often forget: life is a constant work-in-progress. As long as one is alive, it will always remain a work-in-progress. There are no constants because we are not constant. We perpetually change, evolve even, and that is why our desires and needs keep, one might say, fluctuating. And that is okay. It is okay to want one thing today and want something else tomorrow. It signifies growth, whether good or bad, it signifies growth. 
  

MAKE OR BREAK MOMENTS

Paris, 2015.

 
I was reading Damon and Jo's blog, and there was this post about how Damon saw Lilly Singh's vlog, who had two auditions that day and she said:

I have this new mentality going to auditions where I’m nervous but I have just decided in my life that very few things are the make or break of my life. Back in the day, I used to think that, you know, a collab with someone, or meeting someone, or an opportunity would be the make or break. I just decided that I don’t ever want to be in that position that one thing could be the make or break of my life, or my career, or my happiness – whether it’s a relationship, whether it’s an audition, whether it’s a movie role, whether it’s anything, no one thing should be the make or break. So when I go in, I’m like, if I get this, it’d be great, but if I don’t though, on to the next one because nothing is a make or break, and I think that’s a good mentality to have, especially when you think about relationships. Like, I love this person so much, but you know if they leave me, I’m going to be sad, but it’s not going to destroy my life. I just don’t want anything to ever be the make or break. Hug yourself every time I said “make or break.”

As I read this, everything made sense. These past few weeks, I had been preparing for an exam, which I knew was very important. Although, technically I understood this fact, I found that I was not as stressed out about it as I would have been two years earlier. At first, my thought were, "Get it together. You cannot be flippant. This is important. You need to take this seriously."

The thing was I understood the importance of this exam, but because I did not experience any soul-crushing fear of failing, a voice in my head told me that I was playing with fire. When I read these above word, shit just made sense to me. When I was younger, I lived for these "make or break" moments, but as a result I was so scared of missing out on these because I thought that if I wasn't present for these then I would be left out while someone else took the chance. As I've grown older, I have had to realise that there isn't any one make or break moment, or partner, or exam, or career. As long as you are alive, you will always possess the ability to forge ahead. There will be a lot of important moments in life, no doubt about that, but that is the thing to remember: there will be a LOT OF IMPORTANT MOMENTS in life. 

Seven Thousand Miles Of Wisdom

I watched a video today about a man whose adventure started in California and took him all the way to South America on his bicycle. He said as kids we are astonished by everything, but as we grow older, after we take our first steps into adulthood , we tend to stick to routines, i.e., taking the same road to work, picking up a coffee on the way, going to the same bar with the same people after work; so after a point when we more or less know everything that is going to happen, our brains shut off. He said as adults we have to make a conscious choice of doing things that scare or surprise us, something that would have occured naturally in our childhoods.

The man biked seven thousand miles! That means he lived on his bicycle for eleven thousand two hundred and sixty-five kilometres. Sue me for thinking that he might know what he is talking about. 

The adventure doesn't have to be a bike or a huge trip through Chile and Colombia. It could be anything that excites and scares you at the same time. Something that pushes you to live rather than just exist. I know not every day can be lived like that but I hope that we strive to live every day like this because when we are eighty, feeling like one day we were twenty with our entire lives in front of us and the next thing we knew, we were eighty with aching joints and an acute sense of time lost existing rather than really living.