Growing Up

  

Somewhere high above Innsbruck, Austria, 2017

  I remember my mother often telling me, 'Enjoy your childhood; it won't come back.' I also remember thinking of it as preachy every time she said this.

  I spent most of my teenage years trying to be older. It was paradoxical, really; this yearning to be able to reap the benefits of being older while being absolutely terrified of growing old. The seventeenth and, most of the, eighteenth years of my life were spent in a perpetual fear of not having enough time. Thankfully, I no longer have this fear gnawing my insides, but the truth is: time is passing.

  As I was making my way back home, after having spent an hour of my life with a cup of coffee and one of the Harry Potter books, I tried pinpointing the exact moment or instance when I grew up.

Was is it failing, falling in love, having my heart broken, coming to Austria alone or a death in my family? 

  I don't know. What I do know is that I have not been unable to walk because I was laughing so damn hard in such a long time. This used to be a guaranteed occurrence every time I had a (frozen) mango Tropicana in school. I have spent countless lunch breaks on the staircases of Jamnabai, because my body seemed to be overwhelmed by all the laughing. 

  The notion that I may never laugh that hard again for no reason breaks my heart. I guess, growing up really is a tragedy ... an inevitable one at that.

All The Difference In The World

Lustenau, Austria, 2016

  
  I feel, in today’s day and age, when anything is possible, it is so important to have passion. What is the point of having these magnificent opportunities in life if you don’t have enough heart or courage to follow through? 

  Growing up, most of us were told we could be anything we wished, but what no one told us is how it wouldn’t be easy achieving that what our hearts longed for… or how to stand up for our dreams, when no believes in us. 

  Have you ever had someone laugh when you told them what you actually wanted to do? I know, I have. I am not saying that they meant any harm, but they did harm. Didn’t they? 

  You shared something that was sacred to you, and watched as it became something mundane right in front of your eyes as a result of that good-natured snort. 

  The worst thing? It stays with you, this fear of loosing a dream because you dared to share it with someone. 

  The other side of this coin is when you find someone, who believes in you. It makes all the difference in the world. Doesn’t it? It gives you the confidence to acknowledge that you dream is not just a pipe dream you are pining after, that you might actually make it. 

  I feel, what should actually be told, to children and adults alike, is to have a little faith in themselves and the people around them because it makes all the difference in the world.