Lover, please stay.

Zürich, 2016.

We all want someone who will stay the course with us no matter how hard things get. Sadly, you cannot force people to want to stay in your life. No matter what you do, if someone does not want to be a part of your life, they will leave, using everything you do as an excuse.

One thing I have learned is that you cannot come back from some things, sometimes relationships cannot come back from some things. Most of us learn this the hard way.

I learned this when I fell in love with my best friend and told him. No matter how much we tried, things never went back to the way they were. This was always lurking in the dark niches of our minds.

The love and the respect is not lost; you just learn to accept that sometimes some people cannot be what you want them to be, and that they cannot be in your life, if you ever want to move on.

I do not think I have ever respected any other guy this much, so maybe this is the reason that I never really fell in love with anyone after him. Some would argue that I am still in love with him. Even I thought likewise the first few months after I had moved on. It took me a few bad experiences to realise that I after him I never did meet anyone who commanded respect the way he did, which honestly is astounding, after the amount of people I have met in the last one and a half year.

Where I learned that it is okay when people leave, that you just have to let them go, a friend of mine has a harder time doing that. I guess, it is the feeling of knowing that someone did not want to stick out the hard bits with you, or the the fleetingness of it all. Add to that the pain of losing someone, who is very important to you, and the fear of not finding anyone else who will know all your quirks and still like you.

At the end of the day, despite it all you just have to accept that some ships never do return to the port.

Spring, oh how you were missed.

On coming back yesterday I was greeted by spring. Oh, glorious spring.

I had forgotten how beautiful spring really is. It is that time of the year when everything comes to life, when ambitions are reborn and when love is found. Oh, how I missed spring.

Honestly, it is one of the best feelings in the world to just sit outside and feel the sun on your face.

Anyways I had gone somewhere today and I just walked through the city. Even though I have walked through that city numerous times, it just felt so good to get away to a place that made me feel as if I was at home.

I have quite an eventful two months ahead of me but thrive I shall. 

I have a goal that I need to reach. 

Something that I have wanted since I was thirteen.