First Love.

My first love was my best friend. I know it sounds so clichéd but still. I always wondered if I would ever feel anything like what other people felt. If truly there was any truth to all the crap that people say you feel or expect out of a relationship. Surprisingly it is true. For the first time in my life I understood how utterly emancipating it felt to be able to tell someone everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. I realised that no amount of lust could ever replace the meaning of a liberating conversation with a person who got you. But he didn't become my best friend till a long time after. So it's more like I became best friends with the boy I liked. The falling in love came afterwards. Although we were never in a relationship (he had a girlfriend) it never felt like just friendship. I know sometimes the line between the two can be blurry but as I grow older I realise that although blurry, the line is recognisable. In the end I got my heart broken and the worst part is I even lost my best friend in the process. And that really sucked. I felt so lost and alone. I didn't understand what to do.
Imagine not being able to talk to the only person who you think really understands you or moreover the only person you wanted to talk to. Not a great experience. I wanted him to be a best friend goddammit. I wanted him to ask me how I was doing or to talk about the problem. I wanted him to tell me that even though shit may be awkward between us right now, that we'll get through it together.
But he never did...
Even after knowing all my insecurities about how I feel as if people always give up on me and never really stick around. He did just that. He gave up.  

Philosophy And Translating Don't Go Together.

Here I am sitting on the eve of my MKE test, signing myself up for side jobs. Man I need the money to travel. Sure I could ask my parents for the cash but frankly who wants to deal with all the questions  they'll pose and I doubt my dad's going to agree to pay for all the vacations I want to take. So yeah I need a job.. one that pays something.

I've been thinking about studying Philosophy next year. Who knew so many people studied it nowadays and that it could actually be helpful? Currently I'm taking an online course on Philosophy just to get a feel for it. I just completed one session today. It's still too early to judge. Now the problem is that if I do end up studying that or frankly anything, it'll most probably be in German. And that's fine but in a subject like Philosophy it would be a shame if the entire time I'm translating everything I hear rather than actually paying attention in class. But it's still a long way to go. I should go study MKE now. No like really. Ok bye now.

Second Time Is The Charm.

Okay this is my second try at this blog thing. Last time didn't go to well. Firstly its kind off nerve wracking to have your entire life up for some stranger to read. Secondly it way worse when someone you know stumbles upon your blog, where you've been ranting about how you think you're in love with this boy from your German class, which I'm pretty sure my parents saw, seeing how I logged on from the Ipad last time I tried my hand at this. So just in case you are reading this: Hi Mom and Dad and now is the time when you should stop reading.

Hopefully second time's the charm mostly because most of my friends are back in home, which means they are in a whole different continent, and that my new friends hardly understand English and I don't see myself posting anything in German anytime soon. So now that is sorted let's get to heart of the matter.

One major reason I started this blog and that new Instagram account is because I finally feel as if I can write good stuff without automatically hoarding it for my novel, that I someday will write. So from hereon no more hoarding.

And just incase someone didn't notice, the Instagram account isn't really about photography, more like the captions.

Well that's the end of my first post. Peace Out.

https://instagram.com/101wanderlust/